IF football teams were a female celebrity which one would your team be?
ABERDEEN -DIDO: -
Bland, boring and still trading off the one big hit they had years
ago.
CALEY THISTLE -JODIE MARSH: -
Impressive front two but embarrassing at the back. Had a lot of work
done but need more to compete at higher level.
CELTIC -CHARLOTTE CHURCH: -
Proof that money cant by you class. But could look more attractive if the Welsh bloke was given the elbow
CHELSEA -RACHAEL STEVENS: -
You'd rather just watch them than listen to all that painful whining.
DUNDEE -DANNI MINOGUE: -
The poor relation to the more glamorous sibling. Can anyone remember
when it was they were supposed to be any good?
DUNDEE UTD -SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR: -
Individually all the components look great but stick them together
and it just doesn't work.
DUNFERMLINE -KERRY KATONA: -
Once the peoples favourite but now an embarrassment. Fun while it
lasted-now disappear back from whence you came, please
FALKIRK -GIRLS ALOUD: -
Only one real class act among the hastily assembled line-up. You shouldn't like them but admit it; you've sneaked the occasional admiring glance.
HEARTS - JORDAN: -
Marginally more likeable when they weren't packed out with expensive
foreign implants.
HIBS -PAMELA ANDERSON: -
Used to look good in the cups but now a declining force. Plus millions of people watched them get a good seeing to
KILLIE -KEIRA KNIGHTLEY: -
Undeniably easy on the eye with an attractive spine. And proof that
two little ones up front needn't be a drawback.
LIVINGSTON -DAVINA McCALL: -
Poor attendances confirm they've been promoted above their ability
MANCHESTER UNITED - CATHERINE ZETA-JONES -
Used to be great, until a big fat American started f***ing them.
MOTHERWELL - CHANTELLE -
Embarrassing and toe curling to watch with nothing up top and will be forgotten about in a couple of months.
RANGERS - MICHELLE McMANUS: -
You wouldn't. Not even if they were the last team on Earth
Entries for our MALE celebrity teams are welcome ;)