Big Fat DJ admits he was wrong

It was great regret and self-loathing that I tuned into Radio Clyde last night at teatime. After it was announced that Scott Brown would be signing for Celtic and not Rangers (as big DJ had been telling us all year) this was car crash radio not to be missed.

Big DJ started the show with a well though out spiel regarding the circumstances of his sage like vision of Brown in a Rangers shirt. He intimated that Rangers had made a bid for both players, but were only given permission to sign Thomson, which they duly did. He then stated that representatives of Rangers assured the crestfallen Brown that they would be back in for him in the summer. Derek even opined that the player had shook hands on this verbal agreement.

Resisting the very strong urge to rip that paragraph to shreds, I will continue in earnest!

He then went onto state, in a further cliché driven diatribe, that Rangers were by far the players first and only choice. He stated that "money talks" and Celtics offer was by far over and above the norm and that the player had no other option. I.e. they made him an offer he couldn’t refuse! Both him and Ned ‘Hugh Keevins’ Flanders went on to describe the terms of the agreement between brown, Hibs and Celtic as costing the later a total of 12 million beer tokens!

You don’t have to be Dr Frasier Crane to read between the lines regarding what as been said above. He is my ‘penguin book’ psychologist’s version of what was being said

• Rangers made an illegal approach for a player they never had permission to speak to
• They shook on a verbal agreement, which is binding under Scots law
• Brown reneged on this deal
• Celtic have just bought a player who only wants to play for their bitterest (and we mean bitter) rivals
• The player has loyalty, only that to the almighty Dollar
• Celtic have paid far, far too much money for the player

There are many of the above points I take umbrage at, but none more than the assertion that spending money has suddenly become a negative thing. For years we have had to endure the sycophants in the press fawning over the mere sound of David Murray ripping a cheque out of a book, but now it would appear that spending money is a negative thing! I am not advocating that any club do into debt, but with half year profits of £18M burning a hole in your pockets surely spending within your means is laudable?

A new aspect of ‘investigative sports journalism’ (investigative? They should be investigated!) is that rather than quote the transfer fee, Journalists have taken to calculating exactly how much the deal will cost the club, with 12M the figure being bandied about. This equates to 2.4M a year or exactly the same amount it has cost Rangers to have Stefan Klos warming the bench for the last three years!

I can remember DJ’s breakdown of the deal that brought Kevin Thomson to Rangers. I clearly remember him assuring the support that the bulk of the deal was based on add ons and that RFC would never part with more than 500 K at a time. All this for a player who Celtic publicly valued at only 1Million pounds! This was conveniently ignored in the "Rangers snatch player from under Celtic’s noses" headlines. No mention as to how much this transfer will cost the club for the duration of the player’s contract was in evidence.

I seem to remember the same breakdown of costs was applied to the Thomas Gravesen contract, in that it was mooted that it would cost Celtic 7 million to have the player for three Years. We at Mon the Hoops understand that the player’s contract is no where near as high as the hacks would have us believe. TG only earns his top line if he plays; he earns just over half of his top line if he doesn’t. Let’s not let facts get in the way though shall we?

Mon the Hoops can confirm that DJ is a contender for the ‘most football clichés in a commercial radio show world record’. DJ responded to this by saying "At the end of the day its all part and parcel of football today" and signed off the sentence in the way he signs off every sentence. "We have to say"

On rumours surrounding potential transfers, Mon the Hoops believes that Celtic will attempt and audacious bid to bring to top premiership stars to Parkhead. One is a former star whose surname evokes images of a famous botanist and the other has the name of a Simpson’s character within his moniker.

We understand that the deals for these two should hit the press within the fortnight. Remember you heard it here first and watch this space!

I am away for a lie down now!

Yours in exhaustion

Clydebuilt