Oh my poor cheeks are sore! Someone should have started a sponsored laugh yesterday; charities would have made millions!
First here is the story:
Rangers aiding 'corruption' probe
Football club Rangers is working with police carrying out an investigation into alleged corruption in football, the club has confirmed.
Newcastle United and Portsmouth are believed to be the other two clubs visited as part of the City of London Police inquiry.
Detectives said the investigation was separate to Lord Stevens' ongoing Quest inquiry into the Premiership.
A Rangers spokeswoman said the club had given police "every co-operation".
Search warrants were executed on three football club premises and two homes between 0730 and 0900 BST.
'Every co-operation'
A City of London Police spokesman said: "We can confirm that search warrants were served at three football clubs and the homes of two individuals in connection with corruption in football and its impact on owners and shareholders."
A Northumbria Police spokesman said they were aware that "an operation" had been carried out by their London colleagues at St James' Park, the home of Newcastle United.
Strathclyde Police confirmed that it had helped the investigation, but did not say which club had been involved.
It said: "Strathclyde Police assisted the City of London Police to execute a search warrant in Strathclyde."
'Visited by police'
A spokeswoman for Rangers said: "Rangers Football Club was asked to co-operate with a police investigation and have done so, extending every co-operation to police.
"We have been requested by police not to comment further while the investigation is on-going."
Portsmouth FC later confirmed that the club had been visited by police at about 1000 BST.
"We have co-operated fully with their search and will not be commenting further," said the club.
Courtesy of the BBC Site.
This is believed to have been generated by a 61-Year-Old Manchester man who was charged recently on a count of money laundering. It is believed that he made a plea-bargain that implicated three football clubs as being involved in some form of as yet unknown corruption.
It is believed that Ibrox staff was told not to turn on their computers, which were then removed as evidence. One such theory is that the two men whose homes were raided were non other than Sir Freddy Shepard and agent Willie MacKay. It should be noted however that these stories remain unconfirmed at this time.
This has had the Rags fans on the defence, incredulously claiming that it is all the fault of the Celtic supporting agent and that the Celtic transfers such as Scott Brown may be called into question.
If they had already read the story however they would see that this investigation is totally independent of the Lord Stevens inquiry which has already cleared the club of any irregularities in the Jean-Alain Boumsong deal.
The other fact is that the City of London Police (no this is not the London equivalent of the Strathclyde Police silly bears) are leading this investigation! This is a special unit that deals explicitly with crimes such as Corporate Fraud and Corruption, not bungs between agents and former managers.
The City of London Police’s main remit is to investigate issues that may have serious implications for shareholders.
So what are the implications for Rangers? Well so far the only thing they face is the shame and the spotlight of being implicated, and with the Newcastle statement hinting that the crimes may have been against the club then they may indeed be innocent of any wrongdoing. One thing that may affect them however is that if a member of staff were to be using the club to launder money then if RFC cant prove that they took all reasonable steps to prevent this they could face massive fines.
Oh the shame!
On other theory, as exposed on Celtic Quick News, is that RFC may have only declared a portion of the monies generated from the sales of Boumsong and Arteta. On 31 August 2005, Rangers finance director, David Jolliffe, wrote in the clubs annual accounts, "Gain on the disposal of player registrations was £8.4m… and principally relates to the transfers of Jean Alain Boumsong and Mikel Arteta." Given that the Rangers announced to the stock market the sale of JAB for 8M, what happened to the rest of the 2.7M generated from the sale of Arteta? There would appear to be a discrepancy to the tune of 2.3M
So with all of this there has to be a few funnies creeping out:
"For every fiver Celtic spend, we will launder a Tenner" Former Sir D. Murray, Barlinnie
"We welcome the disgrace" Bill Struth – Spinning in his Grave
Yours in Celtic
Clydebuilt