Following our recent attempt to sign Scott Brown from Hibernian Football Club, it has come to our attention that he's a wee snide so we're no longer interested.
Rangers FC will not be held to ransom by any club or player, even though we had it on good authority from some trustworthy journalists, and Chick Young , that Scott Brown had his heart set on joining "the Rangers family". We had even allocated him a team nickname "Broonie" or "Scotty", however, these names will now be shelved until we can sign someone else whose christian name is Scott or whose surname is Brown.
Rangers fans should however not lose faith, we fully intend to spread our net all over Europe, or wherever else cheap players can be had. We are fully committed to bringing only players who are fully aware of the expectations and traditions of Rangers FC to this great institution, and hopefully that knowledge of our traditions will not put them off.
We already have some great signings lined up, Kirk Broadfoot and Alan Gow who we poached from some diddy teams, can only improve our squad and will herald a new dawn in our drive to cut corners and make do with what we can afford.
I am fully confident that players like Jean Claude D'artagnan will also continue our proud tradition of signing players who will get injured pre-season, leaving the fans to wonder wistfully, "what if?"
By the way, season ticket prices are going up 15%, the end!
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